"Fine, let's throw Morpheus off the Empire State Building and see how many african violets he knocks down."

Seriously...don't even ask.

...

Because I'm gonna tell you anyway.

media_klepto 's mother and I were hanging a shelf out in the kitchen, because the cats keep knocking down the african violets she had sitting in the window.  She comes out, and asks how sturdy it is.  Her mother explains how both she and I were all but hanging off the thing - at the same time - but she's still not convinced, going on about cats jumping down from the top of the fridge or cabinets, the force of the jump being enough to move the shelf.  And the above line was my response.

XD

Current Mood: amused

Yay for creating a summaried entry to actually convince myself to post. =D


At Home:
Well, not really much to say here.  *shrugs*  My 21st birthday's coming up on the 31st of July.  Kat's flipping out because we're probably not gonna have money to much, if anything, to celebrate, and my take is "...so?"  ^^*  I don't care if I get presents or not, I really don't.  I've always been that way.  I mean sure, it's cool and all!  But for as many things that there may be that I want in life, I won't feel like part of me is missing because I'm without or anything.  =/

Other than that...yeah.  Stuff.

At Work:
With the market the way it is, my work life is every bit as exciting as my home life!
Vendors reset the shelving for the garbage cans today.  (Remember I work at Lowe's in the Paint/Cleaning section.  Of all the things to fall under our jurisdiction, we get GARBAGE CANS.  O_o  ...of course filling a garbage can is an effective way to clean XD)

And again...other than that, yeah.

At Play:
No more exciting still, really.  Anybody heard of a game called "Beyond Good and Evil"?  You play as a photographer named Jade, who lives on a planet called Hillys that's been dragged into a war between the bad guys, the DomZ; and the good guys, the Alpha Section.
Well anyway.  A group called the IRIS Network recruits Jade for her talents, telling her that "not all is as it appears" with the war, and has her photograph suspicious activity...regarding the Alpha Section.  o.o
You meet up with another IRIS agent, codename "Double H", who's little personality quirk (as we all know good game characters have) is an obsession with a spy manual called "Carlson and Peeters".  As such, all throughout the game as he tags along with you, he'll one, quote pages from the book, and two, call out "CAAAAAAAARLSON AAAAAAAND PEEEEEEEEETERS!!!!!" to which I am thoroughly incapable of NOT laughing at.  XD  Because he has this deep, nasally, stupid-sounding voice.  I'll try and find a YouTube video of him, I'm sure there's like - a million of them out there.  XD
    Anyway, that's what most of my game time has been.  That, and trying to level up my Attack stat in Runescape, a browser-based MMO game.  At level 60 Attack, you can wield the strongest "regular" weaponry in the game - Dragon weapons.  ...I'm 53 now.  ;_;  It seems so far away.  *flails*

And, yeah...that's about it for me!  Bye for now~

Current Mood: blank

So, I have today, Saturday and Sunday off. Whoo three day weekend!
What's more awesome is that Sunday is Kat's birthday.

I told my co-worker Jane I had a three day weekend, and she hit me with a paint stick. ;~;

XD Aaaaaanyway...
Other than that, nothing TOO fantastic going on at Lowe's, OR at home! ...Heather, my manager, spilled paint all over herself...twice... >_>; And then said that I did it...when I walked onto the floor to start my shift. XD I've come up with a phrase to describe our motley crew at the Paint desk... "We take our jobs seriously; not the people we work with."

I finally figured out what the HELL is wrong with me. ...besides everything. =D';;;

Ever since I first landed an actual JOB, I spent less time chatting with friends, or going out with my siblings, etc. etc...and I just - had nothing to TALK about! So I stopped posting all but completely. ~~* So anyway...I've decided that I'm just gonna throw anything that happens in my day at you guys, and...see what happens. XP

I still update ONCE in a while...
The problem is, there's nothing much going on. ~~*

...well, other than the fact that I'm freaking SICK of seeing Hillarana Duftana all over EVERYTHING. I thought Rachael Ray on the Ritz cracker boxes was overkill. o_o;

Um...yeah.

Just completed Super Mario Galaxy. Pwnage. XD
And Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition. To those who know what I'm talking about - why do people complain about the P.R.L. 412's charge? It's bloody fast if you ask ME.

Other than that...nothing!

Later!

Current Mood: amused

...well, sorta. Lowe's is cheap, and rebukes your earned vacation hours at the end of the fiscal year (Feb. 1st, in this case) - so everybody was taking leftover hours in January. XD I have today (Sunday) through Tuesday claimed; and I was SCHEDULED Friday/Saturday. Five day weekend! Whoo!

...and how do I spend it? Going Battlechip collecting apeshit in Megaman. XD Time well spent, I says.

That, and reading the first fourteen books in the CLAMP series Tsubasa...which we ordered from the library expecting to get them a few here, a few there, in no particular order...and we got all 14 at once. ._O

Current Mood: cheerful

What's the difference, right? >>; I keep promising to post more, and it never happens...let's put it this way...I'll try.

Sooooooo anyway. I'mma go poke around Rockman.EXE Online, make myself some mood icons. Bye for now! >>; *poof*

Current Mood: amused

Okay, so cliched. But hey. http://johtolegacies.awardspace.com

There's finally something THERE!

Yes, I realize both the Fun and the Links pages are not up yet. They aren't broken links. But if you DO find anything wrong with the site - or if you have ANY comments, critiques or questions, do let me know. Thank you and goodnight.

~Tristan

Current Mood: accomplished

...I said I'd update weekly and it's been a month already. But there's been a lot going on here; mainly the jackass landlord booting us out by the end of April, and us flailing around looking for a new place to live. But, yeah. I am still alive...and I have a new e-mail address. I'll be updating my account data shortly; but for now it's "tshuster@myway.com". That's all for this update.

...oh yeah, and, though it should be obvious, I really haven't had time to work on HTML for getting my site put up. Sorry for the delay, I WILL get there. I promise.

~Tristan

Current Mood: restless

Okay. So, there's nothing there yet, but I found a reliable server I actually like, so...

http://johtolegacies.awardspace.com

That'll be where the site is going to be once there's actually anything there.

'all for now!

Okay. Yes, I'm a month early. But that's beside the point. I've made my two major New Year's resolutions.

Starting in the new year, my fanfiction Johto Legacies will be restarted brand new. I'll have a link to the site and everything else when the time comes.

My other resolution is to post here at LEAST once a week. At the VERY least...

It's only been...March...since I last posted. ~~*

Anyway...I'm a happy little nerd boy. =D The new fire-type Starter for Pokemon Diamond in Pearl is a monkey. ...a monkey with a FLAMING ASS.

That says so much with so little...
Kathryn's just as happy...the water-type's a penguin, her favorite animal.
...the grass-type's a beetle-thingy.

Now all I need is four hundred dollars for two Nintendo DS and the games. XP I can dream, right?

Other than that...I honestly, swear to God, don't post here because nothing goes on in my life worthy of mentioning. *sweatdrop* So if anybody still reads this...sorry I'm so boring. ^^*

Current Mood: amused

I plan to scrap all the entries so far in this LJ - or at least the good majority of them - and start over new - on a regular basis. Any objections? Or posts you guys want me to keep? Let me know!

...hey! I'm alive! What're the odds? *coughs absently*
Umm...yeah. Alive and well.
...and I'm engaged! ^~^* *rubs head and laughs* Took ya by surprise, didn't I?

Yeeeeah. Long story, I might get into it later. Suffice it to say I'm living with my fiancee...and...her parents. And I HAVEN'T BEEN KILLED YET. Do I get a cookie? *stupid grin*

I think this also explains why I haven't been on recently. *coughs* *and again*

Current Mood: amused

Geeeeze. I can fall off the porch rail and not get as much as a scuff, but go down to the creek to skip stones and I come back full of scrapes from tree branches! *laughs and pulls a piece of a leaf out of his hair*

Oh well, it was fun. We (that being me and my siblings) found out that there's a lovely ice shelf, from when the river was higher, and froze, then went back down, leaving said shelf about two inches up off the water, and stretching a foot or two out on either bank. The whole creek's maybe seven feet across in the wider spots...why if I wasn't so afraid of the shelves breaking, I coulda jumped from one to the other. XD

Anyway, we ended up throwing rocks at IT more than we did the water. Y'know, just to see if we could. We couldn't of course...though by going out onto the ice on the bank, and jumping on it, I loosened a piece in front of me... That was fun. It broke up and a bunch of chibi-icebergs went floating off and under the bridge at Main Street. XD Good times, yesh, and I'm amused by odd things.

And then Nashira and I used the playground to design (and to an extent re-enact) a scene for the Rockman fic I'm working on, Rising Crescendo.

Anyway, I'm off! Ja!

What, I wonder, would you do?
If I told you I loved you?

XD OH god, I'm going to die laughing here.

Matt and I are having a REAL problem with our keyboards right now...we keep mistyping things! *is checking every word he types NOW, just to be safe...*

Anyway, we were getting ready for a duel via AIM here:

OmniMatt: *shuffles teh 11347-like*
OmniMatt: ... Okay, it's not even FUNNY anymore. ;_; Lleat? o_O
Himochi Kouen: XD XD
Himochi Kouen: Is that what you feed llamas?
Himochi Kouen: *points condescendingly as though he were Seto* YOU SHUFFLE LIKE LLAMA FODDER!
OmniMatt: XD!!!!!!!
Himochi Kouen: *dies laughing*
OmniMatt: This is the hardest I've laughed in like, two months. XD XD
OmniMatt: Okay. `_´ Shuffling time.
Himochi Kouen: I KNOW. XD XD XD *posts this at his LJ*
OmniMatt: *sweatdrop(
OmniMatt: ... Wo.w
OmniMatt: ...
Himochi Kouen: The typos want us all dead. o_o';;;;
OmniMatt: *walks off*
OmniMatt: *comes back, mumbling something about explosive-proof homebase of national typos*



*falls from chair, laughing hysterically*

Current Mood: enthralled

"Isn't it cute? It's the same color as my CAR!"
"It had a baby!"

Mom and I discuss her new cellphone. ...at 12:30 in the morning. ^_^;

Never, ever question any of the things I talk about- for your own mental well-being.

Current Mood: amused

I can't take credit for 'em. But I can post 'em in the name of hilarity.


~~~~~~~~~~
#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10 - Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#11 - Law of Inherent Combustibility
Everything explodes. Everything.

First Corollary -
Anything that explodes bulges first.

Second Corollary -
Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12 - Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13 - Law of Energetic Emission
There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14 - Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.

First Corollary -
Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15 - Law of Inexhaustibility
No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16 - Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Storm trooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.

First Corollary -
The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.

Second Corollary -
Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.

Third Corollary -
Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated
'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which
restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving,
firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.

#17 - Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.

#18 - Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19 - Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt with bladed weapons.

#20 - Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

First Corollary
Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21 - Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't....

#22 - Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23 - Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

#24 - Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.

First Corollary -
The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect)

Second Corollary -
The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

#25 - Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26 - Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any

#27 - Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

#28 - Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29 - Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30 - Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31 - Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#32 - Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#33 - Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
*ANY* shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

#34 - Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear a long cloaks that don't hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.

First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) -
All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do
not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.

Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) -
Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

#35 - Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on...especially if they have never attempted these things before.

#36 - Law of Quintupular Agglutination
Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:

1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which
include:

1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37 - Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.

First Corollary (a.k.a. The Hammer Rule) -
The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38 - Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39 - Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get, and vice versa.

#40 - Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41 - Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

#42 - Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43 - Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia
There is no Law #43.

#44 - Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

#45 - Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

#46 - Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47 - LAW OF MUSICAL ONMIPRESCENCE
There will always be a whole orchestra hiding politely behind any of the scenery so as not to divert from the main character in any way. this orchestra will also play music that applies to the scene and will only stop if some one important dies.....(related to the law of temporal mortality).

#48 - LAW OF OPTICULARTHROPOMOPHISM
the size of the characters eyes is inversly proportional to the size of their head.

First Corollary -
the size of which can often change when the character becomes angry or surprised

Second Corollary -
how large and cute the eyes are is directly proportional to how good the character is..

#49 - LAW OF MYSTERIOUS IRELEVANCE
No one asks questions, about why that building just exploded.

#50 - LAW OF ETHICAL TOLERANCE
the community of any anime settlement are automatically tolerant to any known form of race, species, and some times construction, as long as they are obviously good..

#51-Law of Complex Decorative Functionality
The more flashy and decorative the mecha, the cooler and more powerful it is. Also works with complexity of weapons, armoring, space ships etc.

(These were taken, and slightly edited, from a post at the Pokemasters.net Forums.)

----------
1. Hang him up in a tree and have blindfolded kids hit him endlessly thinking candy will come come out.

2. Have him engage in a staring contest with a Dodrio.

3. Have him engage in a staring contest with Brock.

4. Introduce him to the 4Kids dubbers.

5. Have him watch an SSBM match in which he gets whipped by Pichu and/or Jigglypuff.

6. Have him watch a match in SSBM where he stupidly falls off and dies while charging his Shadow Ball.

7. Practice rope-skipping... with his tail.

8. Leave him in the middle of a mall before opening time, waiting for the 300 million running and screaming nine-year olds attracted by your "Hey kids! Meet Mewtwo, in person." promo.

9. Put chinese finger traps on him.


10. Introduce him to a bunch of deranged fangirls.
... Introduce him to a to Concerned Parents of America. 'Nuff said.
...... Lock him up with representatives of all of the above, film the battle that ensues and upload it to the internet.

11. Tell him that there are human genes in his DNA...
... And tell him his father is Darth Vader.

12. Make him try and defeat popups on the internet.

13. Give him a tissue, lock him in a room, and tell him he can't come out until he plays an elaborate tune using said tissue.

14. FOX Network - Needless to say anything else.

15. Take his blood pressure. Then again after he finds out about this post.
----------



Ta-da.